Linda Horsta

Tag: relationship

  • “All men are pigs”..

    “All men are pigs”..

    Or “there are no good men left” are truly limiting thoughts that love to circle around. Yet is it the truth? The whole vast truth about all men on this planet..

    The issue is that when you believe in statements like that you limit yourself and you don’t notice the ones who are not. Your mind dismisses them, finds excuses why you don’t like the ones who are worthy of you.

    Yes, you focus your mind on the negative ones who stand out, but don’t notice the quiet ones nearby. We see this trend in politics at the moment as well.

    We’ve always had it in pop culture. Negative emotions are powerful at taking our attention and link very quickly to our reactive primitive mind centers.

    We protect ourselves.

    But is this the whole truth about the men available?

    Does this reflect every single man on this planet?

    Of course, not.

    You simply don’t know enough good examples and there might not be a habit of doubting black and white statements. Reality is always in the full color spectrum. Yes, the negative does exist, but so does positive and all in between, which is often the majority.

    For your mind to expand and notice the others you need to start to question these thoughts. Question them in conversations with your friends and others. You don’t need to oppose others opinions, but you can question your own.

    Often what we say is emotional, only partially reflective of the reality. Often blowing up a detail feels satisfying, yet it does not mean it’s factually true.

    How about you find one man that you think is kind of okay. Is there one? Keep on searching and you’ll realise that there are more. Perhaps start with your closest people.

    There are plenty of men who are willing to work on themselves and care deeply to be in a loving relationship. I know that, because I meet them in my coaching practice and conversations around the topics I work with.

    Yes, good men exist even in 2025 and there are good men available and searching for a romantic relationship at this very moment.

    Change your mindset = change your life and experience the love you seek!

    So start by asking those questions to yourself first and perhaps you’ll realise what’s needed to move. Or perhaps it will open up other areas to expand your mindset on as often we have thoughts like this to protect ourselves.

    As a coach I love to work on becoming aware of the protection mechanisms and finding ways to honor them, whilst opening the mindset to a chance of finding the love you seek. Contact me to receive a 30min. free intake session to try out how relationship coaching works.

  • The cost of lack of commitment in relationships

    The cost of lack of commitment in relationships

    Many have no idea that they are not ready to commit the attention, hours and their energy to building a new healthy relationship.

    If the relationships you choose tend to be not so great that is your unconscious comfort zone. Yet to change that you would need to invest yourself in development and opening your awareness of the subconscious acts. Now that takes commitment.

    Commitment to working through the uncomfortable parts of yourself both in becoming more self aware and in real life with another person.

    The truth is any new relationship will bring up the uncomfortable, the question is how you deal with that on your own and together.

    By becoming more aware through therapy or coaching can help you start to react differently. Notice the patterns and take a breath, before reacting in the old unconscious ways. That alone creates a new dynamic, where you can continue to develop yourself and change action patterns.

    How to feel more commited?

    Ask yourself how much has it cost you to no commit.. How many loving moments you haven’t been able to enjoy? How lonely have you felt? How often have you longed for someone special to just come into your life? How many times have you had to answer annoying questions about “why you don’t have anyone yet” and felt shitty afterwards?

    Which relationship never flourished, because you where never ready to work on it? How many potentially good connections you surpassed, because it didn’t feel like the one?

    How much love did you miss out on?

    Once you know the cost of not be willing to work on it, you may realise it’s too high not to try once more. The highest cost of not working on your romantic relationships is the constant returning to the same old patterns.

    By working on yourself you will learn how things can improve, by working in your relationships you’ll learn that everyone is doing it.

    No relationship is perfect. All are bringing up our depths and once we are willing to accept that relationships, especially romantic ones, are a place of self-growth and a place to learn, we can have them with ease.

    Whilst you think that romantic relationships are dreamily ideal, you are not open to the reality that there are two persons working on themselves and the relationship regularly, like in a life school. Relationship school.

    A healthy romantic relationship is something that is built by at least 2 people, who work on themselves and the relationship. They choose each other daily and are willing to accept the not-so-comfortable.

    Life brings up challenges and we are there to face them. In a healthy relationship you are aware of how it affects you personally and then communicate with your partner to understand how it impacts them. Then from there you may find ways on how to face it.

    So is the cost of returning to the old patterns and unhealthy relationships enough for you to start the first step and change your life and how you relate?

    If yes, then reach out to the specialist you feel connected to. I offer 30min. free intake session so that you know for sure if coaching and my communication style fits you.

  • Ask your questions

    Ask your questions

    What if you tried to solve that one issue that nags you regularly with your romantic partner? What if you could share your needs clearly with your family? What if you could be honest with your colleagues about your thoughts on the project? What if you trusted yourself whole-heartedly?

    Perhaps what came up inspires you to try to find ways to solve the issues you experience in the relationships around you or the relationship you have with yourself.

    In case you want to change things, but don’t know where and how to begin.. share your issues of the moment anonymously and I will respond in a blog post (within 1-2 weeks) to give you a chance to get inspired and become more open about your needs and finding ways to meet them!

    I’m aware that these topics are vulnerable and that’s why I give you the chance to be anonymous,

    to hopefully give you a boost of courage to reach out to a professional when you are ready to face them in person and change things actively.

  • Find out your dating chances

    Find out your dating chances

    You may have heard “there are no good men left” or perhaps “there are no single men anymore” both stories are not true. It all depends on your preferences on whom to date and honestly, most of us are okay to date 10-15 years older and a few years younger.

    For me that window was up to 10 years older and 5 years younger when I was in my mid twenties. Now I’m in my thirties and would consider an even larger range.

    Often these assumptions of lacking options come from real harsh periods of war etc. and even more so from negative mindsets.

    Did you know that globally the biological birth ratios are male dominated, with an expected ratio of 105 male births per 100 female births?

    (UN, World Population Prospects, 2024)

    Yes, you read it correctly, biologically speaking more boys are born and that has been so historically, not just a last years discovery.

    But how about you and your chances? Let’s do a little check up for you personally.

    What is your range? Write it down and follow the next steps to discover your true dating potential.

    Next step is to check the statistics of men in the country you want them to be from in this age group.

    As I’m writing this in 2025, my example is:

    • Age range 25-45
    • Countries: Netherlands, Latvia
    • My preference is single men

    Let’s count together:

    In the Netherlands from 25-30 are 576 thousand men + 582 thousand in 30-35 + 540 thousand in 35-40 + 521 thousand in 40-45 = 2,2 million men in the age group

    In Latvia there are 25-29 is 55 thousand men + 70 thousand in 30-34 + 67 thousand in 35-39 + 60 thousand in 40-44 year old = 252 thousand

    That marks my opportunities with whooping 2,4 million men, but of course, at least a half must be in some sort of relationship, right? (If you found statistics of single men, then continue with the next cut)

    Ok, let’s take a half off then, leaving with 1,2 million.

    Let’s be a bit critical and understand that I might not be compatible with all of them. Let’s cut off another half: 600 thousand left.

    Logically, I won’t be interested in all of them, as we may not have the same interests or values in life. Another half off: 300 thousand.

    Perhaps, some of them don’t have the same relationship goals as me (half off): 150 thousand.

    Good, now let’s be picky. Let’s say I’m searching for a real special person for me and I just don’t take chances. Half off: 75 thousand.

    My favourite is to make sure you are attracted to the person, let’s leave only one third: 25 thousand.

    Let’s say that you also need another very specific thing like being open to do cold plunges with you and let’s half off again: 12 thousand.

    Okay, I must be honest. I’m running out of more reasons to half off. Maybe you still have some, then go ahead.

    So for me it’s 12’000 men that may be available for me. Honestly, that’s a lot. Even if I tried I might not be able to date more than a few hundred.

    Perhaps, you have them in thousands or hundreds. But think logically, how many men would you actually be willing to date in your lifetime?

    I’m good with my number below 50.

    I shared this very illogical way to expand your mindset, because you may feel like you need to find the ONE. But the reality is that there is always more than one man available to you.

    At this very moment there may be 10+ men for you in your area alone. To make sure you notice the ones that are healthy for you, expand your mindset and start to recognise the opportunities.

    To change your mindset you need to rewire your thinking and that takes a bit of time, practice and knowing where and how to expand it. As a relationship coach, I’m equipped with the tools to create that change so that you can notice the healthy options and change your life!