Are you affected by the you-know-what files? Distracted by the constant bad influx of news? In stress about what next dumb thing orange T will do or say? Feeling depressive, negative, helpless etc. because of all this..
Then I’m glad you found this post.
I’ve been there so many times and I hope that what I learned from my “dark rabbit holes” of emotion overtaking my life will help you as well.
It all comes down to emotion regulation. Information like this won’t leave us neutral unless we are numbing ourselves. It is designed to create an emotional reaction when written by journalists etc.
So hey, if you are affected you are emotionally open and that is a good thing. That shows that your values have been overstepped and you are NOT okay with the actions of others.
What helps to stay sane?
Find out the underlying value that stirs you up. Knowing your value will bring out a lot more agency over what you are feeling. It brings awareness and clarity. You get to know yourself better. Best with asking a few coaching questions like:
Why is X impacting me?
Why do I feel triggered by X?
Ideally, write down the answers to those questions and you will see the values that are triggered by this. Those values are important to you. Just like my values of freedom, authenticity and love are SO triggered by all this.
This is the 1st step – becoming aware, but then comes the real deal for helpful change: action.
Action is what will shift you from feeling helpless in this matter to being helpful!
Since I’m also so NOT okay with those monstrous actions and my values are deeply triggered: My way of doing something about it is writing this.
It is my way of regulating my emotions, understanding them, allowing them whilst I write (I release my emotions whilst I write) and eventually giving you something meaningful from this. Looking at what is in my control. Finding out and knowing clearly which of my values are shown and acting on those values in a helpful impactful way.
For finding out the helpful actions you can take, ask yourself:
What could help me to release my emotions?
What can I do that would help in this matter?
Write it out, let it out. There might be a lot more that you can do than you thought.
Just in case you got stuck when asking those questions, ask yourself: What does my reaction to these questions mean?
Many of us will need to regulate the emotions first as that is how it works. You are emotionally affected and that means that regulation is needed. Then I suggest journaling about your emotions and/or physically releasing them with movement, I personally like to dance out my emotions, but perhaps you just need to scream.
By the way, although emotions often feel like they overpower us, we have the real power to shift them by what we choose to do with that.
For example, when I was emotionally overpowered by watching a documentary about Tina Turners story of survival from domestic abuse, I allowed myself to ugly cry full on. For me it hit right in the heart as I also have been in an abusive romantic relationship. Allowing those emotions whilst being in a safe environment was healing for me. It was one of the first cases when I realised that I feel so triggered, because of my values of Love and Freedom. Both where strongly overstepped in her case. What I could act upon at that time was to start to talk about my story so that more women would be inspired to leave their unhealthy relationships. Recognise it and take the bold leap. As I once did, as Tina Turner did.
Other ideas of action:
- Donate to organisations that help in the matter,
- Protest with others on this matter,
- Share helpful information on where to reach out if someone is affected by something similar,
- Educate yourself on what one can do to help,
- Join an organisation that helps in the matter,
- Learn more about your values and incorporate them in your daily life more,
- Create art from your feelings,
- Learn to talk about the hard subjects in a way that helps and finds solutions,
- Tweak how much news you consume and set boundaries on when it is enough (no you don’t need to be informed 24/7),
- Choose what you want to focus your mind on and create habits that support it (I love to focus on Love by going to psychologist, watching good news channels weekly, following neuroscientists to learn about my brain, donating to organisations who’s work I love, growing plants, connecting to nature etc.)
- If you know someone going through a tough time, because of news like this, share this with them.
I’m curious to see your ideas of actions – you can comment below or send them privately to me and I would love to add them to the list.
Do you start to feel like even in the darkest of times, you have a choice on what to do with what your given?
In fact the good things are happening as well, they just don’t drop onto you in the same way. They inspire us, they motivate us, they lift us. A very different set of emotions appear. And in fact, they ignite the same values! It simply feels different so we don’t pay too much attention to it.
What if you could start to focus on your values and then step by step build an ability to notice the full spectrum of things happening in the world with similar ability of reaction?
Thank you for reading my perspective in this matter and I hope this was helpful to you. Let’s create meaningful impact with our time here. A life worth living.
