When you once again have encountered a pattern that shows how your choice of a lover or partner is not working. It’s rather repeating what you know and don’t want.. we naturally go into analysis mode and ask ourselves “why”?
This is going to show all of the reasons that will continue to convince us that are the causes. Some of us are going to blame others, some ourselves, many both. By asking this question we seek to explain what happened and continue to convince ourselves of our version of truth.
Weirdly enough that continues the loop as we have not yet gotten a new thought, we are only examining the existing thoughts and feelings.
To have a new perspective we either need to connect to our minds creative side by coaching (which is the last thing that will happen on its own, because our mind might be in a survival mode to cope with the situation) and explore other possibilities or be open to hear a new perspective from someone like a friend or therapist even.
Whilst we are still in the trenches of pain and hurt we are not open to hear any other way, as we need to heal from the existing one. First aid is feeling safe again and perhaps sharing the feelings with safe people. Connecting in the feelings that need to be held and cared for.
But when we are ready to move, please realise: that by not changing your mindset and actions, you might not find a different path. You need to change in order to choose differently.
Simply our subconscious is wired to return to familiar situations, unless we actively create new ways. If you want to change the familiar and change towards a healthy loving model, you might want to combine therapy and coaching.
Therapy to work with the past traumas and negative memories and finding ways to feel safe expressing the worst that has happened and heal from it in a safe space.
Relationship Coaching to expand your mindset of what is possible, create new healthy mindset that is open to love and prepares you to create a partnership you wish for. Packed with actions that you can take to be ready and finally relax and know that you desire can happen. You can choose a person that is good for you, develop trust in yourself and others, and feel confident in your choice.
This combination brings a powerful mindset change and improves our lifestyle. We feel empowered to trust ourselves and our ability to lead and create our life as we feel it needs to be. Even in the romantic relationships we choose.
We become open to healthy romantic partners and we are more authentic, which works like a magnet for those who seek our true selves.
Trust me, I’ve been there and when I met my partner I was finally a powerful magnet to the real me. No wonder I’m loved in this relationship for who I am, and who I am becoming.
So if you are ready to let go of the old patterns and start a love life you deserve, reach out and set a time for 30min. free coaching to check if you like my style (message to horsta.linda@gmail.com or in social media @lindahorsta )
