It was the year when my country was regaining independence and it was tough on the people. We did though get through it and we are still free. You can imagine how all the natural turmoil of needing to survive affected generations as finances where crashing regularly in 90’s. As a kid I was cradled against the harshness of reality, but I need to thank my grandmother who made it sure that we always had food and safety.

I share the hard true realities of that time, because it shows the truth of humanity: we are resilient. We adapt, we grow and eventually when we get to be safe, we heal.

That is my story as well.

Although my parents love me, they are far from perfect and so I developed many unhealthy patterns and mirrored their unhealthy relationship by unconsciously choosing what was familiar. I was in an abusive relationship and I left it after 6 and a half years when I realised that it started to be physically abusive.

That crash pushed me to finally choose myself.

It was one of the 1st times in my life I did it with unbreakable conviction. It was the true start of my healing journey and establishing a good relationship within.

You may suspect that my outer relationships reflected what was going on in the inside. I was not ok with myself. I had no idea who I was and even less on what I wanted to do with my life. But hey, one thing at a time.

It led me to more and more self-caring choices. Not instantly, but slowly.

Whilst I was still drinking, smoking and partying and making myself as busy as possible to deal with the pain, I decided that I need to throw myself “out of the boat”. Stop being comfortable (yup back then it felt like comfort) and do a proper challenge for myself. I decided to go and live abroad. So I got to go to Erasmus+ exchange to Spain and not loose my studies whilst I needed to escape all my troubles.

Well, if you know anything about Erasmus back in 2014 you can guess how often I went out during it..
A lot. Almost constantly.

So I simply repeated my pattern, my habits although I had changed the location.
Luckily at my biggest crash moment there I realised I was the only aspect that hadn’t changed.
Yes, that is that moment I described at my home page: drunk at around 1.00am, miserable. Leaning on a palm tree and ugly crying, because I couldn’t escape myself anymore.
Then and there I asked “what’s the point of my life if it is such a misery?” and somehow my mind reminded me that there are happy and content people. Which, of course, only made me more annoyed, because I had no idea how to be self content.
Luckily, I unknowingly asked myself a few coaching level questions that got me into true solution focused result. “Who is as happy as I want to be?”
– Monks.
“How did they achieve it?”
– They meditate.

A crazy goal formed. I wanted to be as happy and balanced within as monks, without moving to a sanctuary and becoming one of them. I laugh at the grandiosity of that plan, but hey I achieved it. Specifically, I achieved that level of inner happiness and balance that I wanted for myself. It started to be true from 2019.

Those 5 years though where not easy. They were full of healing. Trials and errors, but every new self-help method I tried, I did with an immense conviction.

I did start to meditate the next after that crash in Spain.
It was and is one of my most beloved methods for self-care. It opened my world to mindfulness.

I have tried many methods and tools, but I prefer to share the ones that I continue to value and use at needed moments. My daily self-care is not very long or intense. It is more that I’ve built a lifestyle that invites self-discovery, healing and trust and healthier inner communication.

Mindfulness, meditation, interest in psychology, journaling, dancing, tarot, yoga, somatic practices, Coaching, Positive psychology and other methods have made me the strong personality I am today. Strong in the sense of being clear on who I am and not being easily influenced by others.

I offer coaching as my main tool, because it allows the mind to be clear on what you wish to shift. The answers will come from you. Whilst, I share my experiences, tips and other methods in live events or courses.

This is a part of my story. The one I wanted to share with you at the moment to inspire you to believe in yourself. Believe enough to start. To book that appointment with me or a therapist. Put yourself first. Start to live! Because you matter and you are holding an immense potential within you. I would love to be the person that guides you to becoming aware of it.